Without Fear There is No Courage

I read a cool quote the other day, unfortunately I can’t remember who it is, but anyhow it said: “Without fear, we wouldn’t know what bravery is.” Interesting concept. Especially when we consider what constitutes bravery, and why courage is such an admirable virtue for many of us. I’ve served in the Air Force and my experience was fairly benign when it came to my safety. But, I have many friends, and past colleagues that have had to “do their job” despite the real possibility they would encounter harm. I’ve always considered this to be an aspect of courage, doing something despite the possibility of something painful occurring in the midst.

There are many areas in life where we experience fear. The fear of physical harm is obvious to most of us, but what about the fear of rejection? Or humiliation? Public speaking consistently ranks high on the food chain of the most common experiences people avoid. Interesting isn’t it? More people are afraid of standing up in front of a group of people and communicating than are afraid of dying. Coming to talk to a counselor is also an experience that for many, myself included, is scary.

In my experience, both working with others, and in my own life, many of us worry about what others will think about me if they know the “whole truth.” Some call this experience shame: Hiding painful truth about self due to the fear of people changing their perception of you because of it. It’s a self protective mechanism inherent in humans that we experience when we have been hurt, or have hurt another. For many of us, it’s easier and feels safer to avoid sharing our pain, guilt, or struggles with another person, due to this fear of judgment and rejection.

And this is the place where the quote above really hit me. Fear is normal. Which is why so many of us admire courage. We all experience fear in our lives in various areas. Instead of being angry or ashamed because of our fears, perhaps a better perspective is recognizing fear is normal. It’s part of the journey. We can choose to engage with whatever it may be that puts the fear feelings in our bodies when we are ready, while recognizing fear doesn’t ever get better with avoidance.

I’m growing in my belief that many of us choose to push into fearful situations on a daily basis, and as such are much more courageous that we give ourselves credit for. We all have a story. Memories, and even things we don’t much remember or think about anymore have left an imprint. These imprints initiate automatic emotional responses, of which unfortunately, fear is often the result. This is outside of our ability to choose. It’s normal human instinct for survival.

Today we are considering the idea that without fear there is no courage, and how normal is it for humans to experience fear and anxiety in a multitude of areas. For a long time, I used to feel ashamed, and uniquely broken, because of feeling afraid, anxious, and on edge all the time. A major aspect of my growing in self acceptance has been giving myself credit for how courageous I have already been working through my past trauma and wounds. While I may really despise the sensation of fear in my body, the more I practice acceptance of the feeling the easier it is to manage and work through.