Dealing with Loss and Grief: Losing a Man’s Best Friend Part 2

Dealing with loss and Grief Part 1

I am now 120 days out from having had to put my dog down. I have still been going through the grieving process since the first writing.
I did not realize that writing about my grief and putting what I was going through down in words would be so helpful, but it was. During that first writing, I realized that I was going to have to say goodbye to Jake and I was not sure that I was at the point where I could do that. As I finished the first writing I was able to write the words down but I could not say it out loud to him. It took me about 3 more days before I was able to voice those words and tell him goodbye.
I still have not had a day go by that I haven’t thought about him. However, I am now able to look through the photos I have of him and smile, rather than be sad. There are also people in our neighborhood who walk their Pyrenees and I have gone out to meet them and their dog. Although doing these things can occasionally cause some sadness, those feelings are becoming less and less as time goes by.
I have now been able to have framed photographs of him in my house and I also had a picture painted of him. I wanted to do something for Jake that I felt would honor him as well as help me to remember him as more time passes and the memories begin to fade. The grief is still there but not as bad, I am moving on, it seems slow but I am getting better.
I have learned some things during these last 90 days. First of all, writing my blog about my experience was very helpful to me. It was not the fact that I wrote about what I was going through but doing that enabled me to be able to say goodbye to Jake, and saying those words gave me a measure of relief. That also lessened the pain I was feeling.
The grieving process takes time, there is nothing I can do about that. However, I am learning that it is OK for me to have moments where I am sad, or depressed or feeling guilty about how I handled my last time with him. I don’t want to stay in the sad or negative moments but it is OK to experience them and let them pass when they come. The further I go in this process the less time I spend in my negative states. I am beginning to see that what has happened with this loss will always be a part of me, but the emotional toll it has taken will not be this intense and that is OK with me.
The items I can take away from the last 90 days are doing something to honor the memories I have of Jake so I can remember as I go forward. Being able to say goodbye to him so I can begin to acknowledge and mourn the loss. And to realize that it takes time and let that knowledge be ok.