The New Year is upon us, and so is the season of New Year’s resolutions. The gyms will be packed, people will be giving up things they enjoy, and people will be setting up lofty goals for themselves. In fact, in less than 6 months more than half of all people will have already given up on their New Year’s resolution. There are a multitude of reasons why it is so difficult to maintain resolutions ranging from external motivation, unrealistic goals, and not having an established plan to achieve your goals. Let’s look into each one off these pitfalls:
- External Motivation:
Wanting to lose weight so others will like you is not a powerful motivator. Instead, wanting to lose weight so you can participate in your favorite activity for longer is a much more powerful motivator since it is something you love and care deeply about.
- Unrealistic Goals:
Wanting to do date night every week but you and you partner are both so busy with work priorities. This will ultimately lead to missed dates and unwanted feelings of guilt. Setting goals that are flexible in nature will give you a much more rewarding and attainable experience that will hopefully allow you to feel accomplished and proud.
- No Game Plan:
Goals need to be specific, measurable, and have clear milestones to achieve them. Benjamin Franklin once said, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”. We all want to succeed, so laying out a road map to achieve your goals will allow you to be far more successful with attaining your desired aspirations.
In any event, while setting goals is a great idea for the new year, I would recommend to try picking a theme for the new year instead. A new year’s theme is a word or a short sentence that can guide you through your year. A theme allows you to see a bigger vision in your life and allows you to simultaneously achieve your desired goals. Let’s try an example, instead of setting a GOAL like “losing weight” you could choose a THEME like “adventure” or “activity”. This THEME focuses more on moving your body in ways you enjoy and having new experiences. The number on the scale may or may not change, but your mood could improve, you may obtain more energy, and you may even be more social if the activity involves friends. All these possible outcomes are way more positive than just a number on a scale changing.
Themes are more flexible and allows people to focus more on their life as a whole and what they truly value. It can take a few days to truly figure out what you would like your theme(s) to be so allow yourself some time to give it some thought. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
- What are my values? Try to pick your top 5! (i.e. Look up “Personal Values Card Sort” by W.R. Miller, J.C’de Baca, D.B. Matthews, and P.L. Wilbourne)
- Do my values have a common theme or relate in some way?
- What can I do differently to embrace my values more?
- What behaviors would I like to change?
Once you’ve establish your theme, you can remind yourself of your theme daily, whether that’s creating a vision board, writing a note on your desk, or creating a new background on your phone.
Whatever you decide to do in 2023, whether that’s sticking to a new year’s resolution or trying out a new theme, remember that you are enough as you are. You’re allowed to remain as you are and you are also free to work on things to help improve your life in the best way that works for you.
