7 Great Ways To Communicate with Your Partner
Over the last fourteen years, I’ve learned my lessons about what works and what doesn’t regarding communication with my husband. Here are some tips I’ve learned along the way to help you avoid some of the pitfalls. Keep in mind effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It fosters understanding, builds trust, and helps you both navigate life’s challenges together!
- Prioritize your partner
If you treat your partner like your best friend and make time to actively listen and care about them and their day, you will reap the benefits. It’s important for each of you to spend quality time with one another on a regular basis. This might be five minutes on the couch or some time on the phone but checking in daily is key. When you are together, show genuine interest in what your partner is saying by giving them your full attention; Nod, maintain eye contact, and provide feedback to show you’re engaged. One biggie- DON’T LOOK AT YOUR PHONE or get stuck scrolling while your partner is attempting to talk to you. - Use “I” Statements
When discussing feelings or issues, frame your statements from your perspective. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try “I feel unheard when you’re on your phone during our talks.” This approach reduces defensiveness and opens up a more constructive dialogue. It’s important to stick with “I” so you can share your feelings and your experience rather than get stuck using “you” and blaming your partner which is not productive - Choose the Right Time and Place
Timing can significantly impact the effectiveness of your communication. This one is huge. What has not worked for our relationship is bringing up multiple issues at once or overwhelming my husband by bringing up issues when he is already stressed about other things. On my end, I’ve asked him to avoid important or conflictual issues before bed because this greatly impacts my quality of sleep. Whatever it is for you and your partner, talk through this and decide the most appropriate time and place to have important conversations. - Be Open and Honest
Transparency is vital for building trust. One thing that has worked for us is my husband confronting me and telling me he’d rather just know what’s wrong even if it will hurt his feelings rather than him having to wonder what has upset me. I felt like this was a fair request and since then I have tried to be more open and honest when something is bothering me. This has worked for both of us and made us more receptive and better at conflict resolution - Avoid Assumptions
Don’t jump to conclusions about what your partner is thinking or feeling. If you’re unsure, ask them directly. Clarifying intentions can prevent unnecessary conflicts and promote a healthier dialogue. If something feels off, just check in with your partner about it. Both of you have to commit to telling the truth and if your partner states that their perceived strange mood or quiet demeanor has nothing to do with you then choose to trust your partner; don’t assume. - Take Breaks if Needed
It turns out, that when we become emotional, our rational brain turns off. This makes it impossible to have healthy conflict resolution if we are not able to logically think straight. Hence, take a break when you or your partner are escalated. It will never end well if you push one another and continue to engage if either person is escalated. Instead, take a break and allow your body to take in some deep breaths, distract yourself for a little bit, and physiologically allow yourself to calm down. At this point, your rational brain will turn back on and a healthier conversation is much more likely to ensue. - Celebrate Small Wins
This is my favorite and has worked for us. We celebrate everything! Life is short, acknowledge and celebrate successful communication moments, no matter how small. Whether it’s resolving a disagreement or simply having a heartfelt conversation, recognizing these moments reinforces positive communication habits in your relationship. Also, celebrate one another’s successes and your success together as well as important milestones in your relationship. Use verbal affirmations frequently and share how proud you are of your partner. Let them know you are their biggest fan!
Conclusion
Good communication is an ongoing process that requires effort from both partners. By implementing these tips, you can strengthen your relationship, deepen your understanding of each other, and navigate life’s challenges together. Remember, the goal is to create a partnership where both individuals feel heard, valued, and loved.
