Being a mom presents many challenges. Whether they work or not, taking care of kids is guaranteed to be challenging, and at certain times, feels downright impossible.
So, this one is for you mamas! For moms who are struggling, thriving, working or stay-at-home, let’s validate some of the issues that arise for all moms out there.
What Do Moms Struggle With the Most?
It’s hard to decide what moms struggle with the most. However, here’s a list of a few of the most common struggles moms face.
Physical Recovery
If you are a mom who just had a baby, your body is recovering. You’re tired, your nipples are sore, and you’ve got a new member of the family constantly demanding your attention. Your body hurts and you might be struggling to heal while you learn how to care for this new baby. Feeling overwhelmed is perfectly natural. Recovering from childbirth is a serious process. You just grew a child in your body! Know that feeling drained is part of the process.
Mom? Partner? Friend? Employee?
Most moms are not JUST moms. They are volunteers, employees, partners, friends… you get the picture. Moms struggle to show up for all the people in their life.
Figuring out how to support everyone while still maintaining a positive relationship with yourself takes a lot of practice and a lot of mistaken attempts at finding the perfect balance between responsibilities. Make sure to switch things up so you can find out what feels right for you.
All the Little Things aka Chores
All those chores don’t seem so little when you’ve got a kid that won’t go to bed, another kid who needs help with their homework, and dinner burning on the stove. It’s likely you want to go in your closet and scream into a handful of clothes (which are probably dirty since the laundry didn’t get done). Being a mom and trying to keep up with the household needs can feel like way TOO much for one person to handle. Remind yourself that you are doing all you can to get everything you can done. Don’t beat yourself up about being human.
Mom Shame
Mom shame comes up A LOT in media and online forums that discuss mom struggles. Some moms love being parents, some moms miss their jobs, some moms feel guilty about the children they are leaving at home for work, some moms feel guilty that they don’t feel guilty for going back to their job. A lot of times, it seems like other moms have it more together than you do. You’ve got to stop comparing. It’s a bad practice in general, kids or no kids. You never know what is going on in someone else’s life and making yourself feel bad about the way you are showing up for the people you love will only lead to negativity. Instead, be grateful for how you show up. You are a mom who is trying her best, the most important thing is that you believe it.
What do Working Moms Struggle With?
Working moms struggle with all the things non-working moms do, but they are balancing it with another to-do task on their list: their job. This is not to say working moms have a harder or an easier time than non-job moms (mom shame and comparison is something covered in this article), it just means that they have another item that must get checked off whether it is daily, weekly, volunteer-based or not. Working moms struggle to balance home life, motherhood, and employment. That’s a lot on one plate!
Some Small Reminders
Self-Care
Self-care is always important. When you take care of yourself, you have the energy for other people. Obviously, when you have kids it can feel impossible to find time for yourself, but you have to. If it feels too selfish think about it like this: you are modeling good behavior for your kids. No matter what life throws your way, you still have your own back by making sure to include me-time. It could be a nap or a hike around the block, or a quiet cup of coffee before the day begins. The more time you make for yourself, the easier it gets.
Connect with Other Parents
It’s always good to find people who understand what you are going through. The great thing about other parents is that they have kids too! So you might even be able to have some grown-up discussions while your kids entertain each other.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Other Parents
Although this was already discussed in the section on mom shame, it is worth repeating. You are a unique individual, with a unique set of circumstances, and a unique family. You will do parenting differently from other parents.
Stress and Worry Won’t Go Away
For those of you who have dealt with your own parents’ concerns about your life, you know the worry doesn’t end with high school graduation or an 18th birthday. You will stress about everything going on in your kid’s life, it is a natural part of being a parent. Most moms spend a lot of time fretting over their children’s well-being. While worry is normal, remember that life has a way of being uncontrollable. Take a deep breath and try your best to enjoy the ride.
Learn to Communicate Your Needs
This is another piece of advice that everyone should take. Learning how to talk to your parents, partner, friends, and kids about what you need from them can help your mental wellbeing when times get hard. Asking your partner for some time alone is beneficial for everyone involved. You provide the opportunity for your partner to support you and for your kids to understand that moms have NEEDS too.
Resources
Still feeling overwhelmed? Never fear, the internet is here!
From everything to preparing for birth, needing to rant, or seeking out sleep, Parents provides a blog post with many resources for moms-to-be, new moms, and moms-trying-to-have kids.
Nurse Family Partnership understands that parenthood needs are varied. Debating about breastfeeding? Struggling to find affordable housing? Wanting to learn how to childproof your house? They’ve got you covered.
Struggling to meet other moms? There’s a dating app for that. Actually, there are several dating apps for that.
Other resources that have helped you through motherhood? Struggles that weren’t mentioned? Share in the comments!
If you are a dad looking for validation and advice, check out my latest blog post.
