Couples therapy is counseling for couples! In couples counseling, both partners are present rather than going through individual therapy. Together, with a couples therapist, partners talk through their feelings, validate each other, and work toward conflict resolution. While the therapist ensures both sides are heard as well as asks questions for clarification and provides strategies for couples to better their relationship.
Does Couples Therapy Really Work?
Yes and no. Marriage and couples counseling isn’t like waving a magic wand. For couples counseling to actually work, both partners need to be willing to put in the work and be honest with each other. When both people are ready to do what it takes to make the relationship work, marriage counseling can work miracles!
Should married couples go to Therapy?
Yes! Counseling doesn’t have to always be a last resort. Some couples even attend marriage counseling before getting married to strengthen their relationship. Couples counseling is a tool to help partners communicate clearly with one another so each person understands where the other person is coming from. In other words, couples counseling helps couples talk through life – there are always things to talk through, good or bad! You don’t have to wait for a crisis to attend couples therapy.
Four Benefits of Couples Therapy
Deal With Conflict
Many couples seek out couples therapy because there are facing unresolvable issues. Perhaps a partner has cheated or there is a reoccurring fight that neither person can seem to get past. A couples therapist can help facilitate a conversation around a problem so that both people can share their feelings and be heard which can help with conflict resolution. Couples counseling can also be beneficial for couples that struggle with anger management because there is a neutral person who will intervene when the conversation gets heated. Another benefit to couples therapy is that it can help lessen future conflict by addressing and fixing problems before they become huge and serious issues.
Better Communication
In couples therapy, both people share their feelings and are often asked to repeat the other person’s feelings back so that each partner understands what the other is thinking and feeling. This is a technique called reflective listening. Marriage counseling can also help couples identify bad communication habits and replace them with better ones! Good communication is a crucial aspect of a healthy relationship and learning how to effectively talk to your partner is one of the many benefits of couples counseling.
Strengthen Connection
When a couple can work through problems and communicate well with each other, their connection deepens. Couples therapy allows both people to get on the same page and understand exactly where the other person is coming from. Additionally, couples can talk through what relationship goals they have or what they desire from their relationship, their partner, and their future. All good things!
Better Self-Awareness
In general, any type of therapy helps you understand yourself better; this is no different from couples counseling. When people are able to talk through their feelings, they become more self-aware because they are exploring why they feel the way they do. Therapy also helps people communicate those feelings which open the door to meaningful communication and allows someone to get to know themselves on a deeper level. So, while couples therapy is for couples, it also benefits each individual!
Again, couples counseling works when both partners are willing to put the work in. In those cases, couples share that marriage counseling has significantly bettered their relationships. Check out this article here to learn more about how couples therapy can improve a relationship!
How Couples Therapy Can Help Partners Move Through Conflict & Improve Communication
At Solace Solutions we use a few techniques to help couples move through conflict and improve communication. We’ve noticed that couples in conflict are usually lacking in one of the following areas:
- Communication
- Trust
- Validation
To address these issues, we focus on helping couples develop better communication skills! We do so by…
Reflective Listening
Often, partners will get into arguments where neither person is being heard. Reflective listening is a simple process that allows one person to speak at a time and then the other person repeats back what their partner said. This allows both parties to understand each other.
Using “I feel” statements
Couples therapy usually involves the cliche “I feel” statements because they work! When someone expresses their thoughts and feelings rather than assigning blame, partners can understand and validate each other.
Fair Fighting Rules
Couples fight. It’s natural! However, engaging in toxic communication behaviors such a name-calling, belittling, or other forms of verbal aggression are never an okay or effective way to communicate (learn more about communication styles that predict doom in long-term relationships). Using fair fighting rules helps couples avoid worsening conflicts or making a space feel unsafe. Some fair fighting rules include taking a break when things get heated, using an appropriate volume of voice, and taking turns speaking. Want to learn about the other fair fighting rules? Check them out here.
Love Languages
Love languages are a great way to communicate about what a partner can do to make another partner feel most loved. Often, we give love in the way that we wish to receive it, but that type of love (such as gift-giving) may not be what makes another person feel best. Learning about the five love languages allows couples to explore how to give and receive love in the way that makes each partner feel most cherished.
Self-Care Strategies
Individuals who know how to and actively take care of themselves are able to be better, more present partners. Making sure each partner incorporates time for themselves to relax, rejuvenate, and reconnect with themself is an important part of our approach to couples therapy.
Date Night
A fundamental part of a healthy relationship is spending quality time together. In couples therapy, we discuss ways to make distraction-free time so partners can connect with one another. No kids. No phones. Incorporating alone time creates intimacy for couples and can help address physical intimacy issues as well.
Make Your Relationship Stronger With Couples Therapy in Colorado Springs, CO
Couples therapy is a great place for partners to discuss their feelings, validate one another, and reconnect allowing their bond to deepen. A couples therapist can also help with intimacy, personal development, and conflict resolution. Good things all around!
If you and your partner are ready to start couples counseling with Solace Solutions follow these steps:
- Contact us for a free consultation
- Schedule either in-person or online couples counseling
- Start communicating better and feeling more intimate with your partner
Other Counseling Services Offered at Solace Solutions in Colorado Springs, CO
Besides couples therapy, we also offer counseling for families and individuals. Individual counseling includes support for teenagers and adults. As well as treatment for depression and anxiety. All of these services are offered in person at our Colorado Springs therapy practice or online throughout Colorado.
